Manchester United Facts

Manchester United is the best football club in the world.

There's no such thing as a draw when Manchester United plays. Manchester United always wins.
i.e: if Man Utd v *insert random football team name* = 0-0, 1-1, 2-2, 3-3, or 4-4, Manchester United still wins!

Manchester United's home jersey is so red, Liverpool FC should be known as The Pinks.

Alex Ferguson can dry your hair. No electric sockets required.

If Manchester United ever, ever do lose a match (yeah, right), our players are handsome.

If a magic genie appears to a man stranded in a deserted island, and gives the man just one wish, he'd wish for a Manchester United jersey.

Whenever a Manchester United player scores a goal, every traffic light in Manchester turns red.

If a Manchester United player gets a yellow card, the club rewards him with a new car. If its a red card, he gets a new house.

Manchester United has 13 essential vitamins and helps digestion. It also prevents blocked nose.

Once there was a man who got dumped by his girlfriend of 5 years. Afterwards, he discovered that his car was stolen. He walked home to find his pet goldfish Lampard dead. He ran out of clean underwear. His pen ran out of ink. His family suddenly disowned him. He contemplated suicide. But somehow he gathered whatever valuables he had left, pawned them and took a flight to Manchester, to see the Old Trafford. He came back a changed man. He is now happily married with 2 children, a steady job, and has a dog named Drogba.